Only child or lonely child?

Tips for parenting the single child.

Fortunately, the old theory of the only-lonely child is gradually changing. As many couples opt for a single offspring, parenting a single child is not looked upon as a special responsibility. Here are tips for parents to effectively raise a single child. 

Focus your attention

View your single child as an advantage, mainly because your attention and concern need not be evenly divided between two or more children. You can spend all the quality time you have on raising a single individual into a responsible adult. You can concentrate all your resources and parenting potential on one person.   

Do not shower gifts, but time

Resources does not only mean money. It includes time, attention, love and caring. Therefore, do not ever overindulge your child by using material means, as this will spoil the young one. For instance, do not shower him with excessive pocket money, fancy birthday bashes or costly gifts. Affluence will give a wrong signal to the child.

He or she will not be able to face life in the true spirit. Instead, use your resources intelligently. To give another example, you can appoint a house helper for the daily cleaning and thereby spend more time with your child. Be your child's best friend - someone he can always approach for help, advice or play.   

Keep your child busy

The modern world has opened many avenues for children. There are numerous classes dealing with every discipline under the sun, ranging from theatre to astronomy to karate to painting. Consider your child's aptitude when selecting a hobby class for him.

Apart from the regular school curriculum, you must encourage your child to participate in sports, indoor games and most importantly, to socialise and build a friend's circle. Open as many windows of communication as you can, so your child doesn't feel the lack of a sibling.  

Books, TV and other sources of entertainment

Introduce your child to literature. Books can be long lasting friends. If your son develops an interest in French, encourage him to pursue it. Language and literature is the stepping-stone towards understanding any culture. Let your child watch television and surf the net for a limited time everyday. An educational programme on television does not harm. You will of course have to monitor your child's TV watching.  

Expand your family of friends 

Inculcate caring and sharing values in your little one. Teach your child the significance of lasting friendships. Even parents have to learn the importance of increasing the size of their circle of friends.  

Never feel guilty about having a single child

Opting for a single child is a personal decision. No one, not even close relatives, should make you feel guilty about this aspect. Take the example of this mother who was questioned about her son's behaviour by a neighbour. The neighbor asked, "Is your son a problem child because he does not have company at home?"

The mother confidently retorted, "If company made well-behaved children, most mothers in this locality would not have been summoned to their children's schools every successive month." Parents with a single child need not be apologetic.  

Don't suffocate your child with attention

Very often single children tend to be the total focus of attention of parents, especially non-working mothers. It is important that mothers get an interest apart from the child, so she does not try and live her child's life for him. It is vital to give your child space and independence. A balance is very important.